Differently-abled and following their dreams against the odds
Nnasaretha Kgamanyane | Monday October 17, 2022 10:33
All the discrimination, funny stares and gossip forces many families to hide their children who are living with disabilities, in a bid to protect them from being bullied by the public. The attitudes are sometimes the result of cultural norms and beliefs that associate disabilities with witchcraft or curses.
However, some people living with disabilities are fortunate enough to have a strong supportive system from family members, more especially parents. This helps boost their confidence, stand firm and work hard towards achieving their dreams.
For instance, 25-year old Dorcus Motswadira is a qualified teacher, motivational speaker and author. Motswadira, who comes from Maun, was born with cerebral palsy and her body’s left side is paralysed.
Speaking at the recent Cerebral Palsy commemoration coordinated by Brave Hearts Special Needs Association in collaboration with Hannah Bee, Motswadira said she was born at home around 3am in 1997 but was taken to the hospital at around 8am. She went to the hospital via donkey cart as there was no ambulance available. At the time her mother was not aware that she had Cerebral Palsy (CB) and only found out around 2014 when Motswadira was 17 years old.
Cerebral Palsy (CP) is a group of disorders that affect a person’s ability to move and maintain balance and posture. CP is the most common motor disability in childhood. Cerebral means having to do with the brain while Palsy means weakness or problems with using the muscles. CP is caused by abnormal brain development or damage to a developing brain that affects a person’s ability to control his or her muscles.
“My mother said she told the doctor that there was something wrong with me, when she was trying to get me medical help while I was still young. “However, the doctor simply said, ‘ke mang a rileng o belege segole?’ “However when I was three years, she took me for physiotherapy at a local centre. “In 2014 when I was 17 years old, I took it upon myself to start physiotherapy again.”
She continued: “I asked the doctor what was wrong with me and that is when I was told that I had CP. “It is sad because my mother also did not know about my condition and only found out about it in that year. “There was a lack of information on issues of disabilities.”
Motswadira remembers in 2003 when she started school that teachers called her mother and spoke to her. The young learner had to be taken back home. A year later she was taken back to school but unfortunately she went back to the same teacher who abused her just because she was different.
Motswadira recalled that that teacher made her Standard One hell. This made things worse for her because other children in her class also bullied her, sometimes taking her lunch pack and making her cry.
“The abuse was unbearable and my peers made fun of me, imitating how I walked.”
However, in Junior Secondary School, Motswadira’s life changed forever. She found that her teacher was her superhero and he even encouraged her to stand for student representative position. Even though she was sceptical, she ended up trying her luck and was surprised to see a lot of love from fellow students, which boosted her confidence. Up to that point, she had being living with low self-esteem as she felt no one believed in her.
“I remember that I wrote a perfect speech on why I should be voted for the position and when I got on the stage, all the students cheered in excitement. “I don’t know what happened to that speech. I spoke from my heart. I won. “From there I never looked back. “Growing up, it had never being easy on my mother because she was a single mother. It was expensive for my mother to take care of me. My father denied me when my mother was pregnant and I only got to know him this year after looking for him. We are on good terms though,” she said.
Getting into the workforce after school was, however, not easy. Her first workplace was not easy and her boss was abusive. Motswadira quit after a month.
She was however determined to fight for her rights and raise awareness about people living with disabilities. Today, Motswadira is a degree holder in Special Education attained from the University of Botswana. She is also the founder of Society of the Differently-Abled, a local NGO. She is also an advocate for people living with disabilities.
For his part, one of the country’s most talented entertainers, DJ Ricky Lamar, who was also born with CP, said he never knew he was different up until he was at Junior Secondary School. He said growing up, he learnt how to write before his age mates and also joined extra-curriculum activities at school which helped boost his confidence. His family never treated him differently, which he says went a long way to helping him.
“I thank those around me for not treating me differently,” Lamar said. “It is important for parents to take their children out of their shells. “My parents used a lot of money to take me to specialists. I was also taken to accommodating schools. “They never made me feel different and in fact, I only learnt about CP when I was older. “At the time, I blamed God and my parents, but the anger declined later because I understood we are all different in many ways. “I can be better than someone who is abled. “Do not to teach your children that they are different from others. Teach them confidence instead.”
Brave Hearts Special Needs Association founding chairperson, Tshoganetso Dibeela, is a mother of a 12-year old daughter with CP.
She urges family and friends to take also care of the parents of children with CP, saying from her own experience, she found that she was always tired and felt like she could not parent her daughter.
“You cannot pour from an empty cup. Parenting is hard. “Taking care of a child with special needs is hard. Who is taking care of us? “Who can care enough to know that I need time out, I need rest, need counselling? “I also want to sometimes socialise but I cannot leave my child with anybody. “I cannot take my daughter to any event because she cannot be herself at a different place. “I never hear anyone say bring your daughter for the weekend and rest. “I have to book months in advance for someone to take care of her and when the time comes they can change their mind because apparently something has come up.”
She continued: “We also need to touch base with someone who understands our situation. Someone who is in the same shoes. “I have been taking care of my daughter for 12 years but sometimes it becomes as if it’s new.”
According to Dibeela, discrimination from other children when she goes out with her daughter is unbearable. She encourages parents to teach their children that there are special children.
“Our mental health is compromised. We need counselling. We never got professional help and we had to be strong for our children. “We need a rehabilitation centre where we can drop our children for a day or two to reboot. We need help and support. Take care of the caregiver,” she says.
For her part, Gaborone City Council chief social and community development officer, Segopotso Dikai says while CP affects over 17 million people across the world, it is one of the least understood disabilities. People with cerebral palsy are often kept out of sight, out of mind and out of options in communities around the world.
She adds that it is critical for local authorities and others all over Botswana to change the environment and provide necessary support to effectively address the need of the people living with CP.
“There are millions of reasons for accessible technological solutions that can go a long way in alleviating the pain and challenges of those living with the condition as well as assisting the caregivers. “Stakeholders are appealing to all for help to find the next breakthrough in technology. “It is my hope that young Batswana technologists will not be left behind in this campaign.”
Dikai says one of the biggest challenges in Botswana is knowing exactly how many people live with CP as well as the severity of their conditions.
“Most of the children with CP are home as there is no facility that meets their needs. “As local authorities we need to be sure that the infrastructure is catering for them and that through our offices, their day-to-day needs are met.”