MRS Botswana, Rock Solid Families celebrate marriage
Nnasaretha Kgamanyane | Tuesday February 22, 2022 06:00
This comes after The World Marriages Day that celebrates marriages globally on February 13. The celebration could have not come at a perfect time since February is regarded as the month of love. The event was the first of its kind in Botswana and a very welcome move for married people to celebrate their union and re-ignite the spark between them.
At the event, MisTI Bleq and her husband Mike Bleq whose real names are Tshepiso Montsho and Mike Montsho, consecutively inspired the audience with their love story. The pair are ballroom dancers and together own a dance company. They started off as dance partners then later decided to date and got married. They have now been married for seven years and had been dance partners for 11 years. "We own a dance school that also offers dance classes for couples. It welcomes all even if you don't know how to dance it is okay, we will teach you. We encourage married couples to dance together. Amongst our dance programmes we have a Dance Date Night designed to promote marriage.
Add spark in the marriage. We encourage couples to embark on the Date Night Dance. To keep flames burning in our marriage, we have made it a culture that we go out once every week. Even if we don't have money to go out, we still continue with our date nights. We do it at home. Date Night Dance programme is created for you (couples)," said the couple. "With dance you do not only keep fit and have that physical connection but you learn the steps of who is the leader and follower. Dance ignites connection; both physical, communication and emotional connection.
It also teaches trust and being submissive to your partner," they said. For her part, Ntombi Setshwaelo who is a marriage counselor, said she has been married for 51 yrs. She explained that physical connection was very important. She added that love-making was that connection that a couple have with each other; the way they touch, look and connect. She explained that love-making was not only in the bedroom. However, she also indicated that financial connection was also crucial in marriages, explaining that money was number one cause of divorce. "There are seven types of connections. Why are you attracted to each other? We are attracted to each other because of the difference we have. People get attracted to each other because their partners have specific qualities that they do not have.
Something different brings attraction. However, as human beings we have different levels like physical appearance. Female brain function/male brain function are also different. Men's brains are a one-thing at a time while women's minds can focus on a number of things at a time. They are very emotional. We absorb things differently. It is very important that you understand yourself and your partner. Let's look at issues of GBV, what is their root cause? Men get over stressed when there is financial difficulty that is why they feel threatened by women who earn more than them, so let's be gentle as women. When your man is going through something, take it easy.
In marriage just like in life there are good and bad days. Men protect the family physically, mentally and psychology. Be gentle with them. Yes, you can be firm but still be gentle," she said. "Do not create anxiety in your homes. Do not create a home where when you are home the children and wife are afraid and not free. You are not the animal or tsotsi. We women we are the helpers, care takers, teachers and doctors. Wives, stop being harsh on your men. Women speak more than men naturally.
Choice of words is important when we are arguing. Women like being sacarstic," she said. She explained that even though couples have different personalities, they must be a untied front and not let other people interfere in their marriages. She also advised that if couples could not solve their issues together, they must seek help outside (professional help or counselling). She advised married couples to be best friends and do things together. Another speaker, financial advisor Nelson Letshwene advised married couples to plan their finances and find ways they can make their finances grow together.
He added that if couples live like single people in their marriage, where everyone handled his or her finances alone, it will bring more financial crises in their home. He said married people must sit down and discuss their finances and plan on what is needed and wanted in their home. He said collectively, the couple might come up with ways of investing even in their children's future that also need proper planning.