There have always been many cases of passion killings amongst young couples due to various reasons such as betrayal, greed, cheating to mention a few.
However, for Kebaneilwe Garebatho, despite being betrayed twice by women whom he believed he would build a future with, decided to write a book titled The Pain of Love that advises on relationships. The book highlights the causes of pains people encounter relationships that leads to ills such as passion killings in the country.
“My first relationship ended when I caught the woman whom I believed was my soul mate red handed cheating. We had been in a relationship for nine year. I believed we were going to marry each other and build a family together. After her betrayal, I was shattered.
I remember buying 15 bottles of gin and drinking them in four day. I was admitted at hospital after collapsing due to alcohol poisoning,” he said.
Garebatho stated that after recovering from his failed relationship, three years later he started dating again. His perfect relationship became shattered yet again after his childhood friend snatched his girlfriend from him. He said he later visited prisoners convicted for passion killings to find out what really transpired for them to commit such crime.
He also visited mental health hospitals where some partners betrayed like him ended up, talked to psychologists, pastors, traditional doctors, the police to mention a few. After compiling all his research, The Pain of Love was born. This book provides solutions as well as counselling to matters of relationships.
According to the author, Botswana is one of the countries with the highest incidents of passion killings in the world. He explained that his book covers five aspects, which help a relationship run smoothly in the country. He said if one of those things is lacking or weak, conflict is bound to break up. The aspects include money, food, sex, accommodation together with good communication and respect.
“These five aspects of relationships work hand in hand. You cannot lack one and expect your relationship to run smoothly.
For example, a man might not have money therefore fail to support or spoil his partner and children therefore cause conflicts amongst partners. This can also happen when there is money. A partner can stop respecting his or her partner because he or she is the breadwinner therefore causing conflicts in the family,” he said.
Garebatho also pointed out that his book what was well written and well thought out and a thorough research was conducted prior to writing it. He explained that people make decisions that they thought would not hurt their partners only to regret the consequences and bloodshed that came after.
This highly educational book is aimed at empowering individuals to live peacefully with their partners and to accept reality when the affair comes to an end. He said after reading it, readers will be in position to make wise decisions and be very sensitive to their partner’s feelings. He said that is the only way the battle against passion killings could be won.
The book was published in 2010. It has 132 pages and five chapters. One of his favourite chapters from the book is Love You More Than Everyone Else. It reads as follows, ‘your partner may at times tell you how much she loves you. She may say ‘I love you more than everybody else.’
In most cases, partners never ask who everybody refers to. This statement may simply imply that your partner has other sexual partners not you are the most loved one. So every time you are in a relationship expect it to end any time because you are not the only person in this universe…’
He added that in his stride to battle passion killings and other social ills, he would like to tour the country and host Kgotla meetings with various stakeholders to discuss issues that affect the society on daily basis. Garebatho is the author of two other books namely Sexual Scramble for HIV/AIDS and Life challenges to success. He is currently working on his other book Life Changes To Success part 2.
The Pain of Love is sold at various bookshops countrywide. It can also be bought online on Amazon and Kobo Books.