The weights at the table

The thing about the table is that when you arrive, you find the agenda already set, and established with little space for its amendment; and we all know that discussions had under AOB are never as weighted as the validly agenda’d items.

So it is, in fact quite critical to consider whether or not women who are not privileged with visibility and palatability, even want to be at the table. Sure, they may be able to bring their own foldable chair, and a cup and they may insist on what discussions need to be had. However, if the table is not their own, I am not absolutely convinced that the discussions at the table, even where they may be swayed by the inclinations of the uninvited guests, would have as much impact as intended.

Marginalised women, carry the weights of the world on their shoulders. The expectation is that they should do so silently. The poor woman whose poverty is the result of the government’s corruption, is expected to gratefully accept the social welfare handouts, and her gratitude is often expectedly expressed through a vote every four years. The newly-wed depressed bride, suffering abuse at the hands of either her husband or her in-laws or both, is often advised go itshoka and to remain publicly silent about the abuse. The intersex child born to traditionally religious parents is often assigned a gender at birth and when they are old enough to start seeing themselves for who they are, their families hold their breaths that they never speak about it outside of the four walls of the family room. A lesbian woman in a physically abusive relationship with their partner is left out of the definition of  victim or survivor of gender-based violence, so where she can seek help is often limited on the basis of not only where she is geographically, but also, who is engaging on what affects her. A woman who is raped by her partner or husband does not report it because it is treated as a domestic dispute. A young girl molested by her elderly neighbour has to have her whole life uprooted and she is moved from her support system, and family, and everything she needs to heal, to allow the man to continue his life with no shame. A sex-worker exploited by law enforcing officers, while on the job, has nowhere to report the crime against her because of the perceived criminality of her work. An undocumented woman working as a house-hold manager for a local family, bears the abuse of her madam or sir and their children because she “has no papers”. The young girl from rural Botswana, trafficked by her own family to work for a family member in the city, is made to feel like she is being done a favour and should therefore be grateful that someone was willing to save her. These are only few of the weights carried by many and perhaps even most women in our society, even those who are able to pass as acceptable (because patriarchy does not favour anybody).

Editor's Comment
Congratulations Anicia Gaothuse!

The contest had 10 beautiful young girls as finalists and unfortunately only one could wear the crown.The judges picked Anicia Gaothuse. To all those who feel their contestant should have won ahead of Anicia for whatever reason, hardly; the judges found Anicia to be the best among the best, so desist from disrespecting our newly crowned queen on social media or anywhere else, for that matter! Each of the 10 beautiful young women had supporters...

Have a Story? Send Us a tip
arrow up