Acrimony and gender-based violence is sometimes caused by bitterness arising from a lack of understanding on the different personality types.
Research shows that there are four personality types i.e choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic and melancholic. It is noteworthy to mention that we all have a dominant and recessive personality.
Therefore, it is possible to have a mixture of some of the personality types e.g. phlegmatic sanguine, melancholic choleric etc.
Moreover, our personalities are like bricks handed over to us by the universe; we have the power to decide to construct a mighty and grand house with the bricks we have been given, to just dispose of them or under - use them.
It is also noteworthy to mention that there is no perfect personality; we all have strengths and weaknesses. However, once we understand our personality and each others personality it becomes easier to strengthen our strengths, to weaken our weaknesses or even overcome them and to exchange strengths in a relationship without competition.
- Cholerics are usually; goal oriented, straight forward, wry, ambitious, discerning, persistent, loud, unforgiving and hold grudges, difficult, unconventional, aggressive and not easily intimidated, extreme, don’t pay attention to trivia, voracious readers, vigilant, outspoken, and confident and have long lasting impressions i.e take a long time to get over the past.
This personality type can be controlling and have less or fewer friends in spite of the fact that they appear outgoing. They are also; secretive, loyal, stubborn, focused and rigid in their beliefs, natural born leaders, quickly stirred and tend to express their feelings strongly when they feel angry.
The choleric’s greatest virtue is power and their greatest vice is anger; they hold grudges and find it hard to contain themselves when they feel angry. Moreover though cholerics are gifted at being focused, sometimes focusing on the bigger picture alone becomes their greatest undoing as they ignore vital, minute details that cement their projects or dreams.
- Sanguines are usually; outgoing, loud, open, fun lovers, have many friends, playful, people oriented, humorous, aggressive yet easily intimidated, reckless, flexible, adaptive, easygoing, compassionate, generous, forgiving and do not hold grudges, get over the past quickly, free – spirited, outspoken, warm, and very expressive in that they wear their emotions on their sleeves. People of this personality type are mostly fashionable and up-to-date with the latest trends.
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Their greatest weakness is lack of discipline, a tendency to do projects half way without completing them. Though sanguines are more people oriented than all the personality types, sometimes their identity is fickle and shaky as they define themselves based on people’s opinions and not what they deeply believe.
- Melancholics are usually; quite yet aggressive, stubborn, dry, rigid, opinionated, unforgiving and hold grudges, and quickly stirred though they conceal their anger better than cholerics, reserved, inexpressive, unfriendly and have fewer or no friends, loyal, disciplined, discerning, difficult, vigilant, careful with words, indirect and like passing venomous remarks, observant, perfectionists, family oriented, strict, neat, detail oriented, sensitive, controlling, insecure, stingy, careful or vigilant, very neat and punctual.
The melancholic’s greatest need is perfection. Their greatest strength is discipline and consistency. On the other hand pouting, insecurity, jealousy and taking things personal are their greatest weak points.
- Phlegmatics are usually; easygoing, flexible, stubborn, laid-back, quiet but warm, relaxed, indecisive, content, humble, humorous, observant, generous, sociable in spite of them being quite and reserved, peaceful, careful with words, forgiving and recover from the past quickly, patient and not easily stirred up, have sober habits, do everything in moderation. The core value of the phlegmatic is peace. The potency of phlegmatics lies in their peaceful spirit, flexibility and contentment. However, their feebleness is in being slow and failing to confront issues (even when it is necessary) in the name of peace. Conclusively, it is vital that we know and appreciate our personalities as well those of our partners, as this reduces personality clashes that may give birth to gender based violence. Additionally our knowledge and appreciation of personality types heightens our self-awareness thus increasing our chances of becoming better people; for when we know ourselves better we handle our strengths and weaknesses better at an intrapersonal and interpersonal level.
8Gaone Monau is a practicing attorney and motivational speaker.
For bookings on gender based violence awareness seminars, motivational talks or consultations on relationships, confidence building, stress management and self-discovery contact +26774542732 or email@example.com. Her facebook page is Be Motivated with Gaone.