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Auto love- Rattling to the Benz

My first love was Alfa Romeo.

She was a bundle of energy and seemed to be running on that endless Duracell power. The day I brought her home my mother hugged her tightly, although in the interest of accuracy, I should tell you that the day before she came, mum also gave a tight hug to a distressed mongrel that had strayed into our yard. The very same hug! That put things into perspective somewhat. Running on a normal battery meant I could not keep up and we were soon gone our separate ways.

My next love was Opel Monza. Opel was the prettiest girl on the block but she flirted with half the street. Opel was like a modern-day slay queen - twerks, not much between her ears, love for money and always at the glitzy entertainment spots. She guzzled up my money which was actually a little pittance then (well, it still is). My patience with her was constantly extended by my financial limitations. She started getting all sorts of ailments due to her wild and fast ways and that was a cue for me to leave.

Then I changed jobs and I was introduced to Hilux. Good old Hilux had a good heart and was as reliable as a Swiss watch and had very modest taste. If you ever needed a name to illustrate loyalty make

a note of Hilux. She was the unquestioning loyalist who would have defended me if I had declared the moon to be made of cheese.

Her lack of spontaneity meant I was soon in the arms of Isuzu. Isuzu was a glorified version of Hilux with a rich uncle. She was a shade better in the looks department but no matter how hard she tried she was still a plain Jane. She tried to convince me she was the girl. What she did not understand was she was properly second rate. Reasonably pretty but still second rate. This was a source of most of our relationship arguments- which oft times I lost.

Volvo XC was the next girl that happened to my chequered romance journey. She oozed class but people kept wondering why I was with an elderly lady who had been around the block.

Then I met this fine lady and her name was Mercedes Benz. What a beauty Benz was. Benz had a beautiful soul and all the curves in the right places. She was the kind of girl that you pretty much decide to marry before she is yours. Wedding bells could not ring fast enough for my smitten soul. Up to this day she’s still my queen and I have no regrets.

(For comments, feedback and insults email

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