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All That Jazzzzzzz

THULAGANYO JANKIE
Any car with a 1L to 1.2L rated engine is bought for three reasons.

To satisfy a delusion that one can immediately afford a car after working for a year which is actually a fallacy, to prove to your ex-girlfriend who dumped you because you could not afford a car that you have arrived and to show off to the village folk that your mother finally has a son or daughter who can afford a car. But when Little Wheels landed on these shores this manual (or guide if you like) was thrown out of the window. People started buying cars for a variety of reasons.

The male of the species was the biggest culprit. Little Wheels was bought because someone saw a beautiful lady at a party. Little Wheels was bought because the buyer wanted to attend a football match. Some bought it because they wanted to buy a powerful car radio.

Even others bought it because they had lost an argument about cars at the local drink hole. And of course you know how those arguments epilogue if you don’t have a car – with a great deal of emasculation and a bruised ego. Imagine that happening to you with a lady in tow. That takes away the wind from your sails in a big way.

The city is now practically infested with Little Wheels. To be precise five out of every eight cars is Little Wheels. They are on the road, at the garage, in a culvert, in a river or wedged between the bridges of the Boatle spaghetti junction.

Not many people know how Little Wheels got to the

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latter because there’s absolutely no route to that point.

But somehow Little Wheels found its way there.

Most of us were living at the rate of 3 WTFs a day in traffic but this was significantly spiked to around 73 WTFs with the arrival of Little Wheels. Little Wheels will cut right in front of you in traffic. If there’s a red traffic light to be run, Little Wheels will be right there in the middle of it all. If you see three cars driving on a single lane, it would be Little Wheels and this has nothing to do with the compact nature of the car. Yes, Little Wheels is the steel toecap in the jackboot of errant driving.

A few weeks ago the weatherman warned people not to try driving across water bodies because the vehicle might get swept off by the water.

But I know somewhere in this republic the legend that is Little Wheels would have dared where Land Cruisers feared.

I am sure if a huge earthmoving machine was to come ambling along the road waving the Claws of Doom its first victim would be Little Wheels because while other motorists would swerve off in terror Little Wheels will stop to eyeball the machine.

I have tried to describe this car. I have tried to describe its antics and its drivers. If you still feel I should mention the name just know it Hond (oops read that as won’t, my spellchecker is dozing) Fit here. Get the point!

(For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com)

 



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