Whenever GCians ask whether you like their city they hope you will say something positive about their city.
They are actually saying “Hey, isn’t GC GREAT compared to whatever hellhole you come from?”
Deep down they know there’s a lot to dislike about their city but they hope to Jacob you will ring out the positives because this reassures them that they’re not total dimwits for living here.You see there are so many things GC is famous or infamous for and it usually depends on whether you are a native, a visitor or a Francistowner.
Ever since the latter got a facelift called spaghetti junction, which looks more like a snake burrowing into a hole, the Ghetto people want to have their place in the sun and don’t want to play second fiddle to anyone.
In fact rumour has it that they are working with the UN to shed the ‘second’ in the nomenclature ‘Second city’. Forget that they still haven’t been able to reconcile the ‘town’ in Francistown and city when they were declared a city some time ago. So we now have a city that is a town which is very confusing to a standard three pupil.
The worst time to drive into GC is in the morning when there’s a traffic gridlock when GCians are going to work. One needs to avoid the following entrances: Mogoditshane, Ramotswa side, Tlokweng side, Gabane side, Sebele side. Well, this is a longer way of saying don’t get into the city in the morning. If you are smart – which I doubt since not many smart people read this column - you’d also realise that this means neither should you leave town in the evening when the madness starts all over again.
This city is our pride. Never mind the “Beware of the Dog’ signs because the owner is usually more vicious than the dog which is usually a cross between 33 dog breeds and has absolutely no name in the dog kingdom.
Yes, there are a few places where the dogs are actually vicious and if you stray into their yard the coroner would need a vacuum cleaner to collect your body
GC has not made the Top 10 list of anything yet. GC hasn’t made it into the Top 10 Places to visit, Top 10 Places to Watch the Sunset, Top 10 Places to Walk Your Dog, Top 10 Places to Brush Your Cat’s Fur. When these are published GC is usually lying at 4734 and of course magazines do not have the editorial space to go up to position 4734. But our civic leaders are working on it as they want to make this a tourist city.
Just west of our city is Mogoditshane which – when you reside there - is a part of GC but only when you are at a good distance from GC. The standard reply to the question ‘where do you live’ – for a Mogoditshane resident when he’s in, say, Manxotae or Chobokwane – is GC.
Mogoditshane is famous for being the car capital of the nation and also being the nation’s last true lawless frontier; a place where you’re not even certain that the police are licensed drivers. Yes, the sheer volume of cars and car outlets here is stuff for the Guinness Book of Records. Well, the Southern African one.
GC is fortunately blessed with many vocal political leaders who refuse to keep quiet in the face of all the problems bedevilling the city; who are willing to speak up for fairness and reason and right. Our mayors also always talk tough and their words could break down the Berlin Wall.
Yes, sometimes the burger does not have enough sauce, sometimes the cashier is quite nasty and most times you are left wondering if one of the major supermarkets intentionally employed ladies with a similar name, Password. Yes sometimes the cashier treats you like you are a serious breach of store procedure. Indeed we have a Third World, possibly a Fourth World situation here.
So next time we ask you how you like GC just spew out the positives because all we want is validation. Please!