Men’s conference: A Valentine’s Day alternative

In the previous year I braved it and tried to advise men on what they should get for their sweethearts on Valentine’s Day. It seemed I was ranting incoherently at chairs without actual people sitting on them at a badly-advertised pyramid scheme meeting.

Men don’t take too kindly to advice yet they are quick to dish it out. I also received some backlash from people merely because they could not afford gifts for their partners. Mind you such unsolicited backlash is usually padded with some choice phrases. When they were done with me I had a whole dictionary of PG words. Men have created in their minds a phantom event called Men’s Conference. Apparently when Valentine’s Day makes its way here again this year they will be attending the hallowed conference. At this conference, men are taught the ‘finer’ elements of being men. I do not have the curriculum but from information gleaned from unreliable sources the syllabus is mainly about how to get one over the women folk. That is the over-arching theme.

There’s an unwritten rule that partners are in an endless battle to outfox and outwit each other. Men’s Conference is a man’s feeble retort to women’s Baby Showers, Bridal Showers, Decided-Not-To-Have-A-Baby Shower, Kitchen Party and the like. Clearly men still have a long way to go if their only response is one event in a year which has not been proven to actually happen.

Editor's Comment
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