These are very important questions, dear reader. And like all important questions, they require sincere answers.

So being the good messenger that I am, I decided to take these concerns right to the doorstep of the church of the Holy Goat where I was met and interrogated at length by two men and a woman attired in what could only be referred to as biblical garb. I later learnt from the spokesperson of the Holy Prophet that they were the "Nose and Two Ears of the Prophet of the Holy Goat".

When I looked genuinely intrigued by these new developments at the Church of the Holy Goat, the spokesperson whose official title is the Mouth of the Holy Goat, smiled at me and said; "Things have changed here.

The bok used to stop with me, but now everything has to go through the Nose and the Two Ears of the Holy Goat before I can make any pronouncements. The church has a new administrative structure called ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) is run by a director-specialist. So now everything goes via the ENT before it reaches my office."

The Mouth of the Holy Goat told me all these in low tones that pointed to an obviously heavy heart. I was tempted to say; "Ao! So you are in effect no longer the mouth, but are actually the Goats ass!" But you know, dear reader, as I do, that when a man's heart is heavy you don't start drawing attention to his behind. So instead I said, "Ag shem, with this long passage through the ENT via the long intestines, be careful not to get indigestion!"

I am so glad I said that because I could hear the Mouth of the Holy Goat ruminating and then burping with obvious relief!

Anyway , I proceeded to inform him that my mission was to have audience with the Prophet of the Church of the Holy Goat, and that I had been sent by the patrons and readers of the Nitty Gritty. I was so surprised at his reaction on discovering the import of my mission. His tone changed completely. The Mouth of the Church of the Holy Goat was actually foaming!

The Mouth: No, no! you can't come in, I absolutely forbid it.

Me: But why not? All I want is to talk to the man

The Mouth: The holy prophet is not a man. He is a prophet!

Me: Ok, so can I see him?

The Mouth: No you may not. We don't trust you fellows of the Press anymore.

Me: What, you don't trust us? Since when?

The Mouth: I believe it is since the time you wrote... wait a minute, I think I have to consult with the others on this one.

Me: Consult? Consult what?

The Mouth: Not what, but who!

Me: Not what but who, what?

The Mouth: The consultation is not of the what but of the who. In fact, I think its both. I think I have to consult the what about the who. Or is it the who on matters of the what? But consult I must.

Me: Well, if consult you must, then I must say then that consult you should.

The Mouth of the Holy Goat quickly disappeared behind a red door marked "The Kraal."

Under these words was the inscription "The Bok really does stop with me." After what seemed like a biblical, Old Testament eternity, a man with a long, thin beard that flowed from his chin appeared. Before he could even speak and introduced himself, I already had a pretty good idea who he was. "Good afternoon, "he bleated, "I am the Blessed Goatee of the Church of the Holy Goat. All wisdom and knowledge flows from me. How may I help you!"