Who are you? What value or worth are you? These are questions that can be answered by the one’s psychoanalysis mirror. The psychoanalysis mirror is the consciousness one has about his/her own self or identity. This is what we call ego.
Ego is a very good inflated feeling yet so hazardous. It is good because it is what shapes our character by establishing a strong sense of self-worth and self-value. It is influenced by what we believe we have achieved and what we are capable of achieving; self-efficacy. Moreover, it is attributed by our personality, perception and the confidence we have on an individual self. We cannot do without ego because it strengthens our esteem and drive our courage to walk through any weather in pursuit for greatness. Ego predicates our bravery and positioning amidst opportunities.
It gives one a feeling that they are purposeful and very special hence brew a positive driven mind that can and will withstand all agonising situations they encounter. We will never know our substance if we do not wear our ego in our individualistic positions, that is, in our private or secret moments. Ego is, therefore, a self-applicable inflated feeling and should not be exercised publicly amongst other people.
This is because each individual has a special way they feel about themselves and if everyone would show off their ego, egos will clash. This will develop a toxic atmosphere that is dominated by jealousy and hate amongst them.
When ego is exposed to the public it bears fruits of false pride.
False pride is an exaggeratedly high or pretentious opinion of oneself, one’s abilities, or one’s circumstance that is not based on real achievement or success. This is very cancerous for relationships because one feels that they are more human than the others hence repel others from them. It then put limitations to what they could become or what they are ordained to become.
For instance, a person who went to a reputable school abroad may feel that associating with his/ her childhood friends and neighbours, who do not have any qualification, is demeaning and worthless. This attitude then distances the educated man/ woman from getting help when in need due to disassociation they created with their pride or perhaps miss learning opportunities available within the same society that can change their lives spiritually, socially, economically etc.
There is a common story of a wealthy man who used to attend funerals in his community religiously but unfortunately did not eat at such bereavements because he despised the congregational feasts, citing that food could
The community was aware of his attitude and did not like it at all. One day, the wealthy man’s wife passed on and to ease the pain of his loss, he intended to bury his wife with dignity. He slaughtered 10 beasts of cattle and there were plenty of food for the community to feast on. After the wife’s burial, every member of the community went to their respective homes without eating the food that was prepared for them simply because the wealthy man never eats at any funeral. The food all went to waste. False pride blinds us and makes one feel that they are the only ones better than others. We forget that we breathe the same air as the other. We are mortal beings and are all a delicate to underground worms.
False pride has an opportunity repelling odour and must not be entertained. We must make sure to respect ourselves by keeping our egos to ourselves, furthermore, respect would radiate to others because ego would not be displayed for any to root intimidation. The ability to neutralise your ego and recognise other people’s, is a sign of maturity thus humility. Humility is what causes harmony and creates an environment of opportunities and growth. It attracts people to you and stretches a platter of endless possibilities. Humility sets a platform for a robust sense of integrity. Integrity is a result of a selfless and considerate spirit that impacts the community positively.
It is through integrity that we are able to identify our purpose and employ ego to get the ball rolling on the highway towards greatness.
Ego is a key component to set a reputable, confident and esteemed attitude if it is utilised in a form of self-affirmations or declarations to charge your mindset on a task or challenge one is facing. It must be at all times practised secretly but not boasting with it in public since different egos spark fire.
Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is the author of a book titled 50 SHOTS OF COLOR (found at Bala Book Store- Railpark Mall and Botswana Book Center- Main Mall), Motivational Speaker, Radio Feature Presenter, Events DC and Humanitarian who believes that there is greatness to be unleashed in all of us. Contact him on firstname.lastname@example.org or +26773791677 for bookings.