Mmegi Blogs :: Little girls cannot consent
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Monday 10 December 2018, 15:12 pm.
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Little girls cannot consent

In the animal kingdom, it is a widely accepted norm that for a relationship between a male and a female to happen, the male should do the chasing. In addition to that, almost every popular dating advice book for women out there says that men like chasing women, and that guys only chase the women they really like and want.
By Tumie Modise Mon 30 May 2016, 15:52 pm (GMT +2)
Mmegi Blogs :: Little girls cannot consent








The most interesting part though is that these books urge women to make themselves deliberately less available and play hard to get in just about every way, so that the guy is forced to prove himself and his interest by upping the pursuit game.

But this is just the textbook version. Lately I say things as I see and know them and unfortunately this doesn’t always sit well with a handful of people. But just in case that happens again even now, apologies are already in order. An opinion columnist is like a hangman, they are necessary evils and somebody has to do the dirty jobs.

As the now dubbed ‘Sebina-Gate’ saga continues, one particular thing about this case caught my attention, even reminded me of my childhood years. Last week, human and children’s rights advocates took a trip to Sebina. When they returned, they announced that they would be holding a press conference, and naturally we all waited with bated breath. At the presser, they reported that they had indeed not only managed to interview the victim and her family; that they had even arranged for the young girl to access medical care, at their own cost. I commend them. Their report was not too lengthy; they kept reminding us all that their trip and primary concern was only the 16-year-old girl child. By all accounts, her present situation notwithstanding, she is still a child, a dependant though the laws of Botswana would want us to believe that she is now an adult of sound legal capacity. But that is another topic for another day.

What caught my attention though, are the words attributed to the young girl. Upon being asked a question, I assume to establish the nature of her relationship with the man; she is quoted as having said that ‘ga ke itse gore mogolo o ganwa jang. My only interest is this answer, particularly how it was totally misunderstood, even taken out of context. Any female would know exactly what answer meant, it is a straight and forward answer, it is loaded and explains the whole thing! Here is why; men, young and old, hit on females all the time. In fact, as a female you should get

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very worried if this does not happen at least twice a day. Yes it is normal. The only thing that is NOT normal though for a teen or a youth, is if a man old enough to be their father stops them, and when they expect them to ask for directions or ask about their own parents they then start having this funny look on their faces and start speaking in tongues. Do men know how disgusting this is, do they not say anything about this on men’s manuals? Truth is this is never a pleasant thing even for grown up girls, and it is worse when the man has a potbelly. Just frank talk. Tragically, these dating books and manuals written by Westerners do not suggest to females how to deal with such individuals; they only tell us how to play hard to get when handsome (and available) prince charmers approach us. It’s like they never anticipated this either. So, in a situation like this, how was a 16-year-old girl supposed to answer whatever question that group of adults put to her, presumably why she did not resist the overgrown charmer? What a silly question, and the fact that grown up women were present just adds salt to injury! It’s like asking your bed why it was there when you retired for bed the previous night, just a stupid question really. This is where maturity comes in. At my age it is quite easy to tell a man exactly where to get off. Some of us have long perfected that art, but young girls haven’t.

My point; as a female, you get attention even from people who have a fat chance with you in hell, it is normal. If you are a grown-up, it is easy to repel majority of them, but young little girls cannot. They are too vulnerable and it is worse if they are the cultured, respectable types. So, this debate about whether the girl consented should die already.  Arguing whether the girl consented (to an adult) is like arguing whether the food wanted to be cooked. I cannot think of any silly example, but I am sure I come close with this one.

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