FRANCISTOWN: Tati Town Customary Court president, Margaret Ludo Mosojane has warned young women to stop stealing children from the 'waists of men'. "These girls just sleep with a man and then they say he has impregnated them.
They (the girls) need to be taught about management of their reproductive system. There is no way they should just let themselves have babies in order to get maintenance money," she warned.
Speaking as a discussant at a one-day workshop on gender violence organised by True Men for councillors and dikgosi in Francistown, Mosojane asserted that there is nothing like marital rape. She said a marriage is between a man and a woman and it is up to a wife to leave her husband when he does not fulfill his conjugal obligations without a valid explanation.
"Likewise, if I am having periods, or my cervix is painful, I should tell him. If he touches me, and I just tell him I do not want to do it, I am breaching the contract. You have to give it to him whenever he wants to have sex with you because you agreed that it is what you will do," she said amid titters from listeners.
A resource person at the workshop, Dr Ditiro Mojadibodu, an albino, had the audience in thrall when in between his lecture, he used himself as an example. He started off by asking how many people in the audience would be content with their daughters coming with him home to say: "This is the man who wants to marry me".
There was a momentary silence when he asked the question, but eventually, some muttered admittedly that they may find it difficult to accept him as their son-in-law.
"Don't they have a sexual life? How many people would want their daughters to be married by a man in a wheelchair?" he asked the audience that was literally eating out of his hand.
Majadibodu said before he got married, he had to
"The last time I checked the census figures, it said there were 60,000 people living with disability in Botswana. Do you see many of them in the streets? This is because they would rather avoid being seen in public places. We also keep them in our backyards and do not allow them to venture outside. Whenever a visitor knocks on the door, a disabled person is told to go to the backyard. Because of the societal attitudes, the disabled lose a lot. Disabled people have been socialised to believe they are not entitled to certain things."
He said as a person living with albinism, he cannot just walk into any home and pick up a cup to drink water. He added that a person with disability cannot just sit anywhere in a public transport bus. "They usually have to gauge the reaction of the person they are sitting next to, to find out if he or she is accommodating and there is no sneer on their face," he said.
Majadibodu said that many a times sexuality is attached to physical beauty and this perception puts people with disabilities at a disadvantage. Disabled men hardly date women of their choice. However, it is women with disabilities who have to endure more hardships.
He said at the Tebelopele Voluntary Testing Centre in Francistown, there is a big ramp at the entrance, which might be inhibiting to a person using a wheelchair. He added that in most cases, the disabled do not want to be a burden to other people by having to be carried into the centre. They want to enter the centre unassisted, he said.