At the mention of "sex", you will see everyone perk up. Le ba ne ba robetse baa tsoga. Necks will be outstretched, ears open, eyes widened, lips slightly parted, with muttered exclamations of "Gatwe sex e rileng?"; if not giggles, coughs or sighs. The mere mention of sex and the sight of anything perceived as sexual, interests many. What is it about sexuality that gets people tjatjarag (uppity)?
There is nothing wrong with sex and sexuality, it’s probably the best thing to ever happen to humans, 'up there' with technology and cold beer.
Many people like sex because its primary (though not only) biological function is procreation. Survival is the strongest primal drive; second is the sex drive. If our species didn't have much of a sex drive, then we wouldn't have reproduced and thus wouldn't have survived.
As for people who have a compulsion for extreme sexual behaviour, those are usually those who were sexually repressed to begin with, or suffer a psychological condition like being a nymphomaniac (sex addiction). Sex is also a pleasurable activity, so anything that incites thoughts and desires of those muscle spasms; emotions and feelings will get people's interests.
There is a rampant sense of sexuality and obsession in the world. However, it’s not entirely about sexual pleasure. Sex is also a tool. People use sex to affirm their power, boost their self esteem, exchange money/gifts, beg affections or while away time. In Botswana, many people use sex to appease their boredom. That's why you will find people who can have multiple (essentially sexual) affairs like their lives depend on it- its a product of boredom.
Sexuality and semi-nudity are known business marketing tool. Do you remember that soft drink ad with that gorgeous Congolese model who couldn't decide what to wear and eventually hopped into the car in her underwear? A fizzy drink and a girl in a flimsy panty and bra? People, especially men, loved that ad and paid attention to the drink. "Voila!"
Sexuality is often perceived as a 'male thing'. Women are also sexual creatures, but traditional society has presented the idea that 'good girls' should be pretty and innocent, close their legs and wait to be pursued- items and trophies designed for men's pleasure. That is why women who flaunt and celebrate their sexuality are often termed "whores" and "sluts", yet men rarely do.
Many men glorify womanizing as something admirable. To them, sticking their penis in every other vagina is a boost to their ego. When a man is a womanizer he is applauded. Men are naturally conquest seekers and will often prowl after women etc, to affirm security and power in their maleness, basis which is sexual pleasure and ability to procreate.
On the flipside, people will always be obsessed with sex and the lure of what they can get; pleasure, happiness and excitement. Good sex ignites all sensory organs and creates multitudes of feelings, whether of happiness, power or achievement.
Unfortunately, sexual "obsession" has killed creativity as we are flooded with simplistic ideas of sex. People do not think of fresh ideas anymore. You switch on the television, half naked girls in skimpy outfits are gyrating everywhere, with glossy pouts, tongues out and "inviting" movements. Magazines have half naked girls and men, splashed across pages.
Even newspapers have those popular Page 3 girls who pose semi naked, showing bits of their "boobies" and "coochies", to "show how beautiful they are". Without fear of being labelled "bitter", "jealous", is beauty better accentuated when people are half naked? While all these, and many others show off admirable healthy bodies, they also sell sexual excitement.
What is being peddled is sex: to feed a fantasy. It’s all sex the desire for, the love for, the need for fantasies, power, pleasure a sold idea detached from reality: improper use of condoms, STIs, HIV infections, premature ejaculations, unplanned pregnancies, orgasm-less sex, fanny farts, bad sex etc. The perpetuated fantasy is perfect and entertains pleasurable fantasies of the 'itch that needs a bitch'.
Worse still, nowadays, when many people dance, they open their legs, cross them this way and that, stick out their buttocks, wiggle thighs, shake their waists vigorously, wriggle their crotches and sometimes even hump madly in the air, 'one-two, hump hump'- there is too much of what in Setswana is called 'go kunyapa'. This accurately reflects the society we have become extremely, and sometimes even dangerously 'sexified’.
