Female empowerment does not arise out of a feeling of superiority. Nor has the result been positive for men, women or relationships. With money and power come elements of corruption and women haven't been "spared the crap". Popular culture media shows classic examples of the woman who now focuses only on satisfying her own desires, amassing riches/wealth; becoming extremely successful and independent, but unable to form meaningful relationships and ultimately feeling unfulfilled. I often wonder why is it that there are so many educated, successful and wealthy women who do not have husbands or steady boyfriends… and please don't tell me they are lesbians!
While there are some women who are successful, wealthy and revered in their professions, while being able to retain their feminine element and maintain the traditional roles of being part of a nuclear family as a wife and mother, more women seem unable to deal with it and this could be attributed to the masculine element that more women are taking on. This macho-masculinity is bred in the educational and work sphere as a lot of people believe that to progress as a woman, one needs to be stern, ruthless and hard; basically, "be one of the boys."
“The flip side of being bright is being opinionated .The flip side of being entrepreneurial is being a workaholic.” In other words, the same traits that help a woman succeed in academia or a career can actually ‘hurt’ her romantic success. If some people would like to claim that life isn't sweet when you're an intelligent professional woman, I suppose they can, also long as they're not attempting to discourage other girls from following their own success. Women do not need to be forced into thinking, “I can be successful or I can have a romantic relationship/marriage”.
However, some women suffer from ‘independent woman bullshit syndrome’; they went to good schools, have great careers, money, what more could they ask for? They can do what they want, when they want. The taste of freedom has drugged them. I once saw a sticker that read, ‘Women used to cook like their mothers, now they drink like their fathers.’ It’s true and it’s their choice. Surely you have noticed the increasing number of women who smoke cigarettes, drink opulent amounts of alcohol, have multiple sexual partners, cheat etc. A lot of older women are cougars now; they have toy boys because they have what these boys like, money and cars. My age mates are now 'fighting' for men with oldies! Just as young boys 'fight' for girls with old men. How things change!
Money changes dynamics of relationships. Women are bosses at work and sometimes want to be bosses at home too. Men are intimidated by this because they don’t know where they fit in. They might initially be impressed, but ultimately, the relationship leaves them feeling powerless and emasculated. Why is it that so many men are insecure that they only feel comfortable when partnered with a duller or less successful or moneyed woman? As much as some men pretend to be sophisticated and "with the times", most men are intimidated by successful, educated and intelligent women. Some other men do value intelligence, ambition and success in women, but they also want from their partners what they can’t get from their business associates - warmth, affection, nurturing and thoughtfulness. I believe that there are certain roles both genders play. Women don't need to be meek or submissive, but should still establish a balance, so that a man can treat her like a lady, instead of acting like they "don't need any man because they are sooo independent!"
Without emotional vulnerability, relationships become a business partnership or contract. The only way people can bond is through emotional experiences and this cannot occur without vulnerability. In a relationship there must be the one ‘yo o nnang sematlanyana’. Often it’s the woman because they are naturally more inclined to compromise. Men ‘suffer from’ pride and ego trips, so it’s difficult for them to compromise.
On the flipside, it may be less about these women’s success and more about that massive chip on their shoulder. Success or no success, looks/appearance, care and behaviour matter. The reality is that men are shallow. Most men want a good looking woman to give them sex, make them feel good and feed them, period. The "great" problem I have observed is that now that women have money, education and success, they think they are better and treat the same men they want affections from with disdain. Who wants to be with a person who constantly has to affirm themselves through their wealth and success? No hating!
At the end of it all one’s bank balance and social status do not matter. Money and power make life easier, but don’t guarantee happiness nor accentuate you as a better human being. By refusing to see, accept and appreciate the gender differences, needs and characteristics, we devalue both genders. Let men be men and women just be women.
