Love relationships are complex. Love is a beautiful feeling and all things brought together by love are usually positive but we must note that when it comes to romantic love relationships, there also come jealousies, insecurities, obsessions and sometimes even hate. People generally have “issues”. There are those who want ready-made relationships that work without any conscious effort. People have corroded ‘love’ with misplaced definitions. There is no love nowadays; it is just something that appears like it. That is the reason why nowadays, many relationships do not last. There seems to be a void or boredom in some people which they try to fill with external things like multiple affairs, sex, alcohol, high risk activities and material items.
Love relationships are assumed to offer the quickest fill. This is when people, particularly men, think they can own people. They want to control situations and selfishly pursue what they want inconsiderately, to the extent of killing: there is too much anger and vengeance macho machismo. This can be attributed to the distorted definition of masculinity; the absence of fathers and positive male role models who can guide or reflect a respectable manner of conduct, as I highlighted in a previous article (Leaders must be exemplary). Some Batswana men- especially youth- do not know how to treat women: chivalry fails them. They cheat on, beat, hurt, undermine and act insecure in a disturbingly pathetic manner. It’s so inherent in them that some of them see nothing wrong: motho wa teng o ipona a siame fela!
In the same breath, I must note that some people are not “straight”. There are people who waste other people’s time in relationships, cheat and get up to all sorts of nonsense. This is bound to upset and anger the other party. People enter love relations or marriages with their own hidden agendas and intentions, and they often lie to the other person. Some women get caught up in these situations because they are “busy” running around with different men; one wouldn’t know what they are looking for! There are no fruitful results to this, as these women almost always end up infected with HIV/AIDS, pregnant and dumped or turn into ‘city harlots’.
Some young women of nowadays are cheap, morally bankrupt and overly materialistic. It’s unfortunate, because a lot of them are pretty and attractive with chances to build a decent future. Perhaps that is why men cannot resist them: they are captivated by the tight voluptuous buttocks, firm round breasts, soft skin, gentle sway of their hips, shy giggles and youth: the illusion of innocence and happiness. O tla tshosiwa ke motho a ntse montle, a gagametse ka meriri ya di plastic, kante owai, there is nothing. They just want to eat! They cannot even earn a living or bring forth solid ideas tsa matshelo. Some of them call these problems upon themselves because they “know too much”: ke di Bosso. It’s sad that there are women who depend on their looks and youth to get ahead: talk about peddling vagina. Poverty and greed can reduce one to nothingness and erode all sense of integrity and morality.
Women need to change their priorities instead of throwing themselves at men, or else these same men will continue to use, abuse and kill them. There are many good men out there but some women cannot see them because they are tjatjarag, all over the show: chasing cars, money, clothes, cell phones, looks, popularity, social status and all things empty. This mindless behaviour is common among villagers who ‘migrate’ to the cities: people who are excited by the “bright lights” of the city. The excitement of the “fast life” is just a figment of human imagination: it’s all unreal and akin to a Sodom and Gomorra fantasy. If people diverted the time and energy they spend on useless fake love relationships and mindless sex to useful activities, many would progress and succeed. You know how it goes, “Monate ga o fele, go fela motho.”