Well, it hasn’t really gone completely quiet. Some people are still insulting you for going back to the ruling party, especially on Facebook where many of them are taking turns calling you names.
It’s natural to expect young cadres from the new party to be particularly pissed off. They are telling everyone how you sold them a ghost and vanished into thin air. Who can blame them? Wasn’t it just yesterday when you lot had many a great carnival; rally after rally in which you captivated multitudes, telling them how you were going to deal with all the nepotistic and paternalistic thieves and looters in the ruling party? Didn’t you all just have a load of fun? All that beer. The girls, who can forget all those boisterous cute girls from the new party? To think I came this close to joining the new party for those girls!
Let’s face it; you took the decision to rejoin the ruling party after you met the president in November last year. Yes, you should remember that meeting. That was just before you got married. I think you and the president had had the desire to make up for a long time; one of you just had to take the first step. I think you are the one who asked for the meeting since you had been going on about how the opposition should be treated as partners in governance. We all know the president; he couldn’t have gone out of his way to seem desperate for your attention.
Not after the way you and your lot left the party. Le parola ke a go bolelela! People don’t believe me when I tell them that you left the ruling party under rather silly circumstances. Many people think you left the ruling party because of how your friend was treated by the president. Well, that’s the curve ball you threw them. While many genuinely left the party for how your friend was treated, I think you left the party for how ridiculous things were getting at the time. Otherwise why would you be going back, leaving him all alone when he probably needs you the most now?
I mean, everybody knows that your comments on the alcohol levy initially started as some kind of joke. We all know you are a real loose cannon, always joking about something or the other. However, with the president throwing a fit about everything at the time, he must have randomly picked on you saying here is another Billy-goat I need to castrate. While I found it naughty of you to suggest that the alcohol levy was an example that the government would soon poke its nose in people’s bedroom affairs, I found it rather harmless. But for the president to raise so much hell, demanding an apology? I mean, this is a man who has enough material to release his own comedy DVD. I found his reaction and treatment of you rather baffling. I believe he was picking on you for reasons best known to him at the time.
I didn’t blame you when you left the ruling party. I would have left as well. I realized that like me, you don’t take nonsense from anyone. It’s no one’s problem that people decide to wake up on the wrong side of the bed sometimes. Anyway, you guys have since kissed and made up.
I hope you were not the only one doing the kissing and make up while he sat there all proud that he finally got his apology. We hear the president is a heavy man. Apparently his mere presence makes people’s hearts palpitate. We heard this from among other people the noisy Afro-haired fellow who shocked people leaving the communist party for the ruling party. I must say you’ve never looked like the kind of fellow who can intimidate anyone. I can’t imagine you telling the president to go jump off a cliff to his face. You don’t seem cut out for stuff like that.
Anyway, I hope you were received well at the ruling party. I wonder what Mma Nasha and Mma Tshireletso had to say. I’m sure they would have been the first to congratulate you for never having went to the toilet on a road you could use in the future, for haven’t you used it again after all? Is anyone making a joke about you being a member of the ruling party and leader of opposition at the same time? With you gone, the opposition is all but dead. Truth be told.
I can’t help but think that the ruling party is going to use you to get back at opposition parties. Just to drive the old okapi in their heart, to secure 2014 beyond doubt. Knowing what a fox you are, you probably have a detailed dossier of the past, present and future activities of opposition parties. It seems to me that the opposition will never take government in our life time, not if you have anything to do with it. Not after all the events that led to the collapse of the first unity talks; they showed you their true colours, the opposition, didn’t they?
Anyway, I also hope you are going to resume your fights with Boko. I used to enjoy it when you guys wrote newspaper articles insulting each other back in the day. Don’t worry, your head will soon calm down. It’s not like you stole anyone’s wife. This is life. Besides, Batswana forget easily. I can assure you, you will be voted back to parly in 2014. Easily.
Between then and now, keep well. Hope you’ve been to your Inyanga to strengthen yourself. It helps in times like these!
Yours,
Chekwane.
