Between then and now we have only had Nchi Rrammidi who made everyone believe Sir Seretse Khama had visited him in his dreams. Even that wasn’t news. First of all, we don’t know what Nchi had drunk to end up having dreams of dead people, Sir Seretse Khama at that! The story simply made me flushed what little faith I had in politics and politicians, deciding enough was enough! This is why I was so elated to see a Mmegi front page story bearing the picture of the country’s Chief Spy, declaring that Satanists Operate in Botswana!
Well, hello! Guess who you’ve heard this first from? Am I not the one who’s always told you we have enough dark hearted people in this country, and how almost every family in Botswana has a neighbour family they are not on speaking terms with down to little two year olds? Well, it’s official; we are a nation of Satanists! On seeing the story, I knew I didn’t need much confirmation. I know Mmegi to be a credible independent newspaper, so I had no doubt that this story would chronicle in great detail the extent of the evil one could find in this country. What’s more this was being confirmed by the country’s spy boss. I know you all like to give DIS a lot of grief, but whether we like them or not, somebody has to protect our beautiful tiny country! These people specialize in snooping, intercepting and analyzing dark little unscrupulous activities and characters who connive to harm our country. This is why I want the DIS to be given all the money to buy the best equipment in the game; I don’t care if they drink and buy girls with some of the money; I just want them to keep us safe!
My curiosity now reaching roof level, I bought this edition of Mmegi wanting to hear what the DIS boss had dug out this time. The Chief spy declared that his agency was aware of the presence of Satanists and their operations in this country, going on to mention that prominent people were members of these Satanist sects his agency had discovered. I was stunned! I wanted to hear more, I expected dark details and names of these people to follow; but just as I was getting my breath back, Chief Spy goes off on a tangent and talks about drugs, how his agency had become buddies with the media and how much money they’d blown! I read on thinking things would gel in the end. However to my dismay, that was that was on Satanism! No details of blood drinking or naked people dancing in circles during a human sacrifices! I can’t tell you how much I was shocked at Chief Spy and Mmegi; I stood there wondering if Mmegi had deliberately left out the interesting bits or Chief Spy himself had deliberately gone to parliament with scant detail. I didn’t know who to be disappointed with more between Mmegi and spy boss. I mean, I will always forgive Mmegi for anything because of their Vote Moupo story. That was courageous journalism as you like it! It’s the DIS that I was more apprehensive of. My best guess was that a spell was cast on the DIS boss and that parliamentary committee, causing them all to sleep on this matter. It couldn’t be a Mmegi problem. I felt duped!
Being an occasional believer of the skinny bloke with blue eyes and long blonde hair who was nailed to the cross myself, I decided that the Chief Spy had slept on the job and took it upon myself to follow this up! If the dark hearted people of this country had finally decided to open a church of their own and worship the guy who tried in vain to trick our friend who divided five fish and two loaves among multitudes, I had to find out what it was that they were up to that was so special!
The scant information from Mmegi and the DIS boss didn’t help. The contemplation over my journey of discovery became hell itself. I had no information on whether these people had worshiping centers or particular days they worshipped on like our friends who go out on Sundays. Did they have bibles of their own? Did they raise as much racket as our fashionable friends who one village chief once flogged for being nuisances? I wondered about their sense of dress and wondered if they had brothers who had sharp haircuts and hairs dark with pomade; did they have fine women who the pastor steals a moment or two with, like in the church of our mutual friend the president recently deported? All these questions started rising through my head as I wondered where I should start in my quest to discover this dark religion and its society.
I also wondered about the prominent people I would find in Satanist churches? Would it be anyone from our opposition parties? We all know how people in opposition parties here ba itaanang ka noga e tshela; Surely there are enough dark hearts there too. The old general’s party also came into mind. Listen the old general’s party is itself full of dark hearted people, we all know that. These are the kinds of people Chief Spy meant when he said prominent people!
Well, I didn’t get far. I didn’t come out with anything. I return to you empty handed, not knowing what to tell you. Surely I wasn’t going to be able to pull this off by myself! Not without the sophisticated DIS equipment. In fact, I am wondering if it would help to go to a traditional doctor for help instead, since Chief Spy’s equipment seems dodgy!