Society has built the perception that women always have “issues” with each other. I must point out that there are a number of women who get along very well. We enjoy our female companionships; sisterhood is amazing.

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However, “women will always be women”. There is sometimes unconcealed rivalry or jealousy among women. Often, one cannot ignore the ‘tension’ among some women, as it’s so thick that it would need a sharpened butcher knife to slice through.

Most people are familiar with the scenario of a lady looking another up and down or giving them a ‘mean’ look; nose snubbed, as if o nkgelwa ke mantle (they are overpowered by a stink of feaces); sometimes when they don’t even know them!

We all know of or have heard of mothers-in-law who give their son’s wives hell. How about older women who bully younger women or mothers who treat their daughters with disdain? There are female colleagues, schoolmates, friends who make things difficult for each other. It’s a fact that a lot of women are emotionally, verbally and psychologically abusive, especially towards each other from judging each other’s looks, clothes to their lives. It gets worse as bullying tactics often come into play, like rudeness, uttering hurtful comments or spreading malicious rumours. A lot of women always will find something negative to use to “put down” other women, in order to make themselves feel or appear better.

Maybe it’s inherent in women to be theatrical, especially around that “time of the month” when the hormones are tjatjarag. We all have prejudices, biases and “issues”. Everyone has insecurities, discomforts or dislikes etc and we try to deal with them like mature beings; that is what is called emotional intelligence. Some women seem to lack emotional intelligence. Pettiness, gossip, malice and “drama” are often synonymous with women.

Some women are plainly jealous of other women. A woman will note that the next woman is more intelligent, successful or prettier etc and they become jealous or view her as a ‘threat’. This may come from the way some women affirm themselves through male attention. It seems that what men think is ‘paramount’ and any woman who seems to take the interest and attention of men is likely to be disliked. That is why women often “fight” for men, accusing each other of “stealing each other’s men” as if they are talking about a piece of bread that can be nipped without resistance. Some men have noticed how dumb some women are and take advantage of this. In a common scenario, when a man cheats on their partner, the woman is likely to become angry at, insult or threaten the other woman, instead of reprimanding “her man”. And one thinks, “Put your d*g on a leash!” It is sad to note that it seems like the “binding tools” that women have to keep men interested in them are looks and sex!

Most people are competitive by nature; a little bit of competition is healthy. However, women take it to a “whole other level”. With women, there is always pressure to create an idea of a “perfect reality”. A lot of women want to be the one with the perfect body, great looks, and the one with the ‘great man’, the lovely clothes, the exciting career, the cute and bright kids or the fabulous career. It doesn’t help that society has created the aspiration of a ‘Superwoman’; a lot of women want to be everything at once. Some women are never satisfied with anything in their lives. They always want to change something or attain something.

Women often smile to each other’s faces and gossip behind each other’s backs; even those who claim to be each other’s “friends”. The high number of fallouts among women attests to this cycle of drama. I doubt that women value other women the way that men stand by other men.

This ‘worrisome’ behaviour stems from low self-esteem; people with low self- esteem are bad news. Some people just fall into a pattern without once stopping introspecting or analyzing their behavioural patterns therefore failing to see how imbecile and destructive their attitude is. It is unfortunate that some women are always ‘on their guard’ or suspicious of other women. Terrible as it sounds, some women are just ‘cows’ and ‘bitches’, with issues to outclass those of Africa and it’s not written on their foreheads.

A lot of women just don’t seem to like other women. What the hell do women want?

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