Take the case of Mr Kool, for instance. Ever since Walkie let it be known that Mr Kool was consulting the Prophet of the Holy Goat about his case of being dumped by a Rasta woman, the poor guy has not had it easy at the Nitty Gritty at all. Everyone now wants a sip of the potion that he supposedly dilutes with the iced water and suur lamoen.

Mr Kool had to reluctantly admit that he was indeed sipping on "somethingnyana," the contents of which he could not divulge. But the fellows were so insistent that he saw a potential business opportunity in the whole thing.

As soon as it got sufficiently dark, he crept along to the Church of the Holy Goat to see his old buddy Chicken, aka the Prophet of the Holy Goat. He had to be really careful how he put the whole thing to Chicken because he had now found religion. Infact, as I have always stressed, my dear reader in whom I have a lot of faith, it is the other way round. Chicken did not find religion and spirituality. Religion and its spirits found him! As you will recall, dear diligent reader, the spirits paid him a courtesy call on a quite afternoon in the toilet of the shebeen Nitty Gritty, and called him to lead the Church of the Holy Goat. You could quite rightly say that he found his calling when he was answering another call- the call of nature. God truly works in mysterious ways.

Mr Kool has now been waiting outside the inner kraal inside the church of the Holy Goat. The person called The Voice of the Prophet came back after disappearing for about twenty minutes into the inner kraal. No one talks to the Prophet without him.

"The Holy Prophet will see you now," says The Voice of the Prophet, beckoning him into the secret room. Mr Kool hesitated a bit and then walked towards the door. The Voice of the Prophet tapped his feet and said to Mr Kool, "you must take off your shoes before you enter the Holy Inner Kraal!"

Mr Kool immediately apologized and took off his shoes and socks. He then slowly walked into the room. It was very dark inside. The only light available was from a very small and dim candle in the far end of the room, which made shadows dance on the ceiling and on the walls.

Mr Kool walked slowly but surely to the other end of the room. He could feel an awesome presence in front of him, as well as a heavy smell of goatskin with sour milk. He knew that someone was sitting in front on a chair. He could faintly make out the dark figure.

There were voices of prayer whispering from all over the room. They were obviously female voices. Suddenly they all kept quite. A deeper male voice said to him; "Kneel in front of me and tell me your needs!"

It was surely the voice of the man he had come to see. The man who was once his friend, but could now commune with ancestors from across the spiritual divide. He used to be able to talk to him and would address him any way he wished. But now they lived and experienced different lives! They had become like two continents that had drifted apart, and between them lay vast expanses of sea and ocean. They no longer even spoke the same language. Mr Kool had to struggle to find the right words.

"Speak to me freely and openly!" prompted the Holy Prophet. "Swallow your fears and eat away your pride!"

Slowly but surely the right words came as Mr Kool proceeded to make some swallowing noises with his tongue and throat. The words seemed to come from the very depth of his stomach, as he said; "Oh Holy Prophet, I can feel the fear moving in the bowels of my stomach. It is threatening to come out of my anus and I can't hold it any longer! What should I do now?"

The prophet was insistent when he said: "You must hold it! You must learn to control your body and all your emotions. That is one of your greatest weaknesses as a man. But don't worry you have come to the right place at the right time. You will learn that your body is an inner temple that has to be regulated and respected..."

But it was too late. Fear and anxiety came rushing out of Mr Kool's backside like water gushing out of a flushed toilet. He was no longer in control of his bodily functions and the strong pungent smell of goatskin with sour milk also made him vomit.

The prophet of the Holy Goat shook his head and whispered in the dark;

"Oh Lord, we have a very sensitive soul here today!"