But for some youth, virginity is an ancient ideal that has no place in the modern world. They see sex as an expression of one’s feelings that should not be constrained by
religion and old cultural beliefs. Thero Makagamu says that as long as one is above 18 years old, there is no need to suppress his or her amorous feelings. “Sex is a natural gift from God. We should not just resist the feelings just to fulfill tradition. As long as it is safe sex, there is nothing wrong with it,” he says.
Girls who have not tasted the fabled sexual intercourse dread the day when they will do it! Breaking virginity is like the death of innocence. “I can’t bear the thought of losing my virginity. It means a lot to me. It is one of those things that make me feel special. Most of the people around me have lost virginity. But this does not pressurise me anyhow to indulge.
I will do it when I am ready and that means when I finish my secondary education,” says a Form Five student at Selebi Phikwe Senior Secondary School. She explained that she has to keep her virginity a secret contrary to her friends and schoolmates who view virginity as a sign of stupidity born of an old-fashioned attitude. She says staying clean has always invited dirty taunts from fellow students who have dared to stay celibate. “I have lost many friends and a boyfriend whom I loved most. They could not understand why a beautiful and street-smart like me could cling to a traditional and conservative belief with such vigour,” she says.
Another girl, confessed that she lost her virginity while in Form One. Pastor of Apostolic Faith Mission, Reverend Rickson Teemane blames the moral decay on society for early sexual experiences.
“It has allowed bad cultural behaviour to encroach into our society. In the past, virginity was a good thing but nowadays, it is something else,” he says. Westernisation has its negative impacts, according to the pastor. “A car, a cell phone, I mean almost everything that is sold nowadays, there is always the word sex attached to it.
You will see adverts declaring that a car has a sexual appeal or a phone has a romantic touch. With all these sex information bombarding people on a daily basis, what do you expect to happen?”.
Fashion, he says, does not help the youth in keeping the church’s virginity ideal. “The way our youth dresses really has a lot to do with their unbecoming behaviour.
Some put on very short dresses and others trousers that reveal the garment inside. Sex should be seen as a sacred thing, not as something that one has to indulge in anytime when you feel some cravings. I am told that nowadays people can just meet as strangers and have sex right away,” he claims.
Mmaselina Moremi, a mother of six, says that as a parent, it is a daunting task “to make sure our daughters and sons stay clean. But it is quite a good thing that they refrain from indulging in sex
while they are still so young. They should preserve themselves for their suitors”, she advices. As the HIV/AIDS scourge terrorise Batswana, Moremi wishes the youth of today could be sensible enough to apply the church and culture’s teaching of staying a virgin “as it will not be difficult for them to practise the AIDS message of abstinence. If you are a virgin abstaining is not a hurdle”.
